St. Gabriel Home, Arusha: My Journey of Reflection and Hope
By Casey Donahue
October, 2011
No volunteer arrives at St. Gabriel Home without a great shock.
For those who arrive at night, traveling directly from the so-called ‘developed world’ countries, the drive to the home does not match up with the Google images. The taxi’s headlights brush past human silhouettes in the dark. Besides the occasional flicker of a small fire on the side of the road, (likely a street vendor selling late-night ‘chips mayai’), the darkness is surprisingly pervasive, and as the volunteer heads out of Arusha toward Mateves, where the home is located, the night becomes an all consuming, velvet black. At the far edges of the headlight beams, a volunteer sees an impressive amount of emptiness: expansive fields, maybe an unfinished house or two. For the anxious newcomer, things seem to be getting worse when the driver pulls off onto a dirt path, producing an incredible amount of dust and turbulence.
They are taking me to the wrong place! I know certain volunteers have thought to themselves. Or, even worse, this driver has tricked me. I’m now in mortal danger. As the volunteer arrives at the end of an even smaller dirt path, it is likely that they are nervous, even terrified. Finally a yellow gate swings open, and in the gravel driveway on the other side, the volunteer is greeted by the warm smiles of the sisters, the children, and other volunteers. There are two simultaneous reactions that I have seen in many volunteers’ faces in this instant: relief and exhaustion.
That’s one way to get your “welcome shock,” but there is another. For the volunteer who arrives during the day, without having Google-earthed the home, the shock isn’t the hustle and bustle of Arusha, where cars and people weave through each other with an adroit recklessness that makes New York City look meek. The shock isn’t the ride out of cosmopolitan Arusha either. Mount Meru provides a breathtaking backdrop to the open savanna, the coffee plantations, and the bumpy red dirt roads that are home to more livestock than cars. This is the ‘third world,’ absolutely, but it doesn’t feel threatening or alien. After all, it is what you’ve signed up for, right?
Yes and no. When the bright yellow gate to Saint Gabriel Home opens, your jaw drops. This is a compound of well-maintained buildings, quaint flower and vegetable gardens, a driveway expansive enough to accommodate a bright orange school bus and a truck. A quick tour around the grounds will reveal a dining room, where you will be provided with well-prepared, nutritious food; an expanding primary school complete with a playground; a room that serves as an office; another as a chapel; a “living room” complete with a television and a shelf of books and school supplies. Most importantly, the sisters that run the home are kind and the children they care for are clean and healthy. They even speak good English. These kids certainly do not appear impoverished, or needy; in fact, they seem downright privileged! And this initial observation, especially for those who have been exposed to the horrific conditions of many African communities, can indeed come as a shock.
In a certain sense, the children of St. Gabriel do enjoy a comfortable life, compared to their peers herding goats in bare feet on the other side of the gate. They are well cared for in the basic sense of the word, being clothed, fed and educated. However, no amount of lollipops or English lessons can change the fundamental facts of these kids’ lives. Many of them were born in prison – behind bars under appalling conditions. All of them spent their earliest years of life incarcerated. They carry the scars left not only by the terrors of those years, but also by the additional trauma of being taken from their mothers, many as mere toddlers. Some, like one nine-year-old girl, will never have parents again; her mother is in prison for life, charged with the murder of her father. Others will share the fate of a seven-year-old boy who was recently returned to his mother upon her release. A sensitive and happy child, he excels at the primary school connected to St. Gabriel, which he continues to attend. He is a great example of the “happy endings” that do occur here, despite the ever-increasing demands of the home and school as they continue to expand and progress toward long term sustainability. One glance around the compound is enough to demonstrate that monetary donations are absolutely vital to the operation of Saint Gabriel Home; however, time spent with these kids will reveal that what they most desperately need are caring people. Much more than another schoolbook, item of clothing, or a toy, these kids need a chance to heal and develop. They simply need and deserve love and attention.
The seven resident sisters from the Saint Gemma Galgani Order who run the home are very dedicated to the welfare of the children. However, as teachers, administrators, and even students, none of them are full-time care providers. The home also hires a cook and a few “mothers” to do the laundry, cleaning, and bathing. With all of these women consumed in the tasks that keep the home and school running, the fifteen children who currently live there quickly learn to be as resourceful and independent as possible. These kids are being cared for (and very well), but the emotional nurturing that is essential to any healthy childhood requires an enormous amount of time and consistency which the sisters, too busy with the fundamentals, cannot provide. That’s where we come in.
There are many ways that a devoted volunteer can significantly improve the quality of life of these kids. For example, no child brushes his or her teeth unless specifically escorted and instructed. The damage done to the permanent teeth of some older kids is already evident. Many fail to do their homework. Still others have constant bed-wetting issues. Although the children essentially put themselves to bed, many are afraid of the dark –perhaps a legacy of the perpetual shadows of prison. They destroy toys given to them; as a result, the sisters tend to hide the toys. This has created a problematic cycle. The many toys donated over the years are either immediately hidden or ruined. The kids have very few toys to play with and therefore cannot learn to share or take responsibility for their possessions, both communal and personal. Volunteers have a chance to solve some of these problems, but the task is not nearly as easy as it may sound.
Try to envision a childhood in which the people who give you regular attention and affection demonstrate a clear, single certainty: that they will, eventually, leave. To those of us raised in a stable home, that reality is simply unimaginable. Human beings, however, tend to be quite resilient creatures, and these kids are solid proof of that miraculous spirit inside of us all. In their everyday interactions, they appear very normal indeed. They laugh, play, get into plenty of mischief, and they form meaningful attachments surprisingly quickly--within a few days they will run after you for attention and affection.
During my three month stay at Saint Gabriel Home, I witnessed the departure of six volunteers, and every single one was moved to tears at their “goodbye party,” a ceremonial night of dinner, dancing, speeches, and gift exchange that I believe is an ingenious tool which allows the kids to cope with the constant stream of ‘good-byes’ they experience. That is not to say they remain unaffected. Their behavior indicates just what this lack of consistency creates. Some of the children are master manipulators. They make up stories and untruths, they hide and they often fail to listen to simple directions. They understand, better than you do, that you have no real authority or long term influence on their future. Like all the others, you will soon depart through that yellow gate, most probably, never to be seen again.
If you have no authority or longevity, then why the heck are you there in the first place? What possible good can you do during a few short months? Very much indeed.
Unlike many Tanzanian ‘orphanages’ or child shelters, Saint Gabriel Home offers the foundation and support that young volunteers need to spend their time effectively. You are safe and well fed, and enjoy first world luxuries, like indoor plumbing, hot water and electricity (though all three are temperamental, to say the least. Expect occasional hot water and a few hours a day of electricity). In other words, it is totally conceivable to invite young Americans and Europeans who are not used to ‘third world’ living conditions to spend a productive and enjoyable time at St. Gabriel Home.
Not only are you comfortable, but the children have a quality of life and a grasp of English that allows them to benefit immensely from your company. You can sit and converse with these kids and hear the improvement of their English the very next week. Like all young children, their minds are geared toward absorption, and every game you offer, every story you tell, every song you teach will be remembered – in astonishing detail. There is no question in my mind that every volunteer who arrives at St Gabriel provides a meaningful contribution to the community and also has a chance to experience immense personal growth. The great challenge, however, is to maximize each volunteer’s contribution for the long term benefit of the children.
There is no simple answer, of course, but there is a very clear starting point. What these kids need more than anything else is stability, and by working together, volunteers can give them some. Although I loved my time at St. Gabriel Home, and always felt both safe and needed, there were inevitable challenges and frustrations. Cultural differences and miscommunications are commonplace, and part of the experience of living abroad, especially in a place as culturally diverse and complex Africa. Some of these obstacles, however, are completely avoidable. If I were armed with a better understanding of how the home was run and what exactly was expected of me, I could have been more effective. This is no one’s fault, of course--it is clear that everyone involved in the running of the home is doing the best that they can--but as a veteran of St. Gabriel, I see an opportunity to help future volunteers avoid what I could not, and, consequently, achieve what I could not. We are capable of creating an environment of stable, routine and realistic expectations, in which these kids could grow and shine, but only if we work together. Collaboration between a network of past, present and future volunteers will make the difference between disorganization and meaningful progress. It is the difference between teeth that rot and teeth that shine, hiding from school and excelling in it, being only temporarily preserved from poverty and permanently propelled toward success.
“It takes a village to raise a child.” This phrase took on another meaning during my months at St Gabriel as I watched a group of women take completely collective responsibility for the well being of fifteen kids. As I’ve discussed, however, this community is unfinished. The food is there. The schoolbooks too. But who is telling the bedtime stories? Sometimes one of the sisters, when they are not studying, cleaning, or travelling; but can we, as a network, begin to fill in the missing pieces? Is it possible for these kids to be raised and nurtured by a global village? Can a network of temporary caregivers, working in partnership, each one relying on some link before it, create sustainable progress?
Based on what I’ve already seen, I believe they can. The volunteers who remained after I left St. Gabriel Home did not start from scratch, but took over some of the routines I had tried to implement. The “brush your teeth campaign” lives on, as does the bedtime routine, which has even been significantly improved! “Send them to the toilet before we sit down to watch the evening movie. You will avoid many pre-bedtime meltdowns!” I was sick in bed when another volunteer burst into the room to tell me the news of this particular breakthrough. She was jumping up and down with excitement, and it is quite possible that someone looking in on the scene would have thought she was a little crazy. But I recognized the giddy smile and the wide eyes. Despite the daily frustrations and lurking fears that we as temporary, foreign helpers are utterly powerless, Nicole had discovered the high of triumph--of a single, small success.
And isn’t that all it takes, really? If we build upon each consecutive baby step, we can go pretty far and the children themselves will go even further as their lives evolve in the years ahead.
St. Gabriel Home offers an incredible experience for any volunteer with a huge heart (though patience and an indestructible sense of humor come highly recommended too). Not only is it a fantastic opportunity for travel, personal growth and meaningful service, but also a chance to join forces with like-minded people from all over the world. And boy, do these kids need us – really need us. Even now, after many months back home in the US, in my world full of comforts and distractions they can only dream of, I can picture them, waiting there, on the other side of that yellow gate, ready to give you a run for your money--and maybe teach you, along the way, that a little love can go a long way to make the world – their world and ours – a much better place.
Donations from various sources are keeping these kids fed and clothed, but only the devotion and attention of caring volunteers, can keep them loved and engaged, and give them hope for a better future.
(Editor’s Note: Following on from Casey’s remarkable work and suggestions, the Saint Gabriel Home web site will implement a special blog space for volunteers – past, present and future- to post messages, network and share their unique experiences. Stay tuned!)